Thoughts!
I read through the fourth chapter of John this morning; it's about Jesus' time in Samaria on his way to Galilee and then his experiences in Galilee when he arrives.
The Samaritans (seen in those times as dirty, unworthy "cast-offs") begged and pleaded with Jesus to stay and teach them. It began with Jesus' conversation with the woman at the well and continued as her testimony brought the rest of the folks out in droves. They were dry and dusty and his words were like water; they couldn't get enough.
"They said to the woman, 'We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the World.'" vs. 42
The folks in Galilee were excited to see Jesus, too, but mostly because they wanted him to work all kinds of miracles and things. Jesus expresses his frustration(?) to a "certain royal official" who comes to ask Jesus to heal his son, saying, "Unless you people see miraculous signs and wonders... You will never believe." (vs. 48). Jesus heals the man's son, but the contrast between the two groups of people is stark.
The marginalized folks (the Samaritans) knew a good thing when they saw it, and having seen Jesus' fullness, they simply wanted to be with him. The folks in Galilee, on the other hand, were happy to see him because they wanted him to do stuff for them. You just get the feeling the Samaritans would have served, while the Galileans most wanted to be served.
Of course, I recognize myself there in Galilee. How often do I cling to Jesus only by his "signs and wonders?" How often am I unsure in my faith for the reason that there's not some glorious circumstance happening in my life to reassure me of his presence, as if he is the one who may prove to be unfaithful? How many times (a day, even) do I look to God's own infinite power and ability and ask "What's in it for me? How does being with you get me what I want?"
How lame is that?
In this particular example, it sure seems like the Samaritans have their heads screwed on straight while the Galileans are missing the real picture. Too caught up in themselves to see clearly, perhaps. Dang it... there I am again. Why do I do that in my own life?
Next Tuesday, my lovely wife and I will celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary [sidenote: for those of you out there who may not know me so well, rest assured; it's okay that I've been married for eight years. It's completely kosher. I just look a bit younger than I am. Blame it on my inability to grow any facial hair. You may look older, but I would counter and say that you can probably grow a ridiculously awesome beard. I've also got two kids. It's cool. I'm 31. Okay, back to the point.]. After eight years of marriage (plus three years of dating/engagement), I no longer need my wife to prove to me that she loves me. I know that. She continues to demonstrate her love for me in countless ways all the time, but I don't need her to constantly make grand gestures to assure me of her love for me and her faithful presence in my life. We're married, and to me that means I never have to worry about her leaving. But I don't even think about that much because I'm just so glad to be with her every day.
You get where I'm going with this. Jesus is capable of unlimited signs, wonders, grand gestures, and miracles; and in his love for us all, we are blessed to see such things. But for crying out loud, he's not leaving, so I'd like to stop asking him to prove that fact over and over and over and instead spend my days becoming more and more content in simply being with him.
It comes down to this personally terrifying question: Do I love Jesus or do I love what I want him to do for me?
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